My Life for a Smile
by GoG ToXiC
Summary: They told me it would get better, that someday I'd smile once more. I called them liars, and shut myself out from the world. Turns out, they were right. All it took was a desperate queen, a few suicidal thoughts, and a simple leap of faith. A SI exploring the background of the changeling race, and the ramifications of it's existence in regards to ponykind.
1. Prologue

My legs dangled over the water, buffeted ever so slightly by the soft breeze rolling in off the coast. I gazed longingly at the stars above, admiring the peaceful tranquility that permeated the atmosphere. There were no cars, no people, not a single sign of humanity aside from myself and the rusty old bridge that spanned the river. Nothing to fracture the picturesque serenity surrounding me.

_If only it could be like this more often..._

I sighed as I stared up at the moon. It shone brightly this night, oddly so one might even say. Whatever the cause, it made for a stunning display. Silver moonlight reflected off the gently flowing current below, imbuing the darkened waters with a glowing silver tint. Ripples across the surface flared brightly as rays of moonlight reflected every which way.

_Maybe things could've been different..._

The river had always been sacred to me, it seemed only fitting that I make my way here tonight. Once more I glanced up towards the blackened skies, the corners of my mouth pulling upwards into the faintest of smiles as the stars winked their approval.

_I suppose it's time then..._

I made a slight push forward and slipped over the edge, laying my body to rest within the comforting embrace of the waves.

/\\/\

\/\\/

The wave of magic blasted through the sky. It didn't last long however, as the remnants of the spell quickly dissipated into the world below. The last remnants of the powerful magic broke apart on the Equestrian border, too far from the capital to be detected by the alicorn sisters that ruled the lands. Not all spellcasters of note however, had wings, and in the rural village of Ponyville, one particular unicorn bolted awake. Had this particular mare been anyone else, the shockwave would have gone unnoticed, but as fate would have it, this lavender pony was no ordinary mare. A spellcaster of the highest degree, Twilight Sparkle was the element of magic incarnate, and the personal student of Princess Celestia herself. Faint as it was, Twilight was too attuned to her element to not detect the spell, and with a lurch, jolted awake.

"Spike!" She whispered. "Wake up!" She waited a moment, and upon seeing no reaction, levitated a small purple dragon out of the mess of blankets on top of her bed, promptly dropping him over the side.

With a groan, the baby dragon pulled himself up from the foot of her bed.

"What now, Twilight?" the dragon complained, clutching the top of his head.

"Did you feel that?" Twilight asked.

"No," he quickly answered. "You're probably just hungry again. I told you not to skip dinner." He yawned. "Can I go back to bed now?"

"That wasn't me!" Twilight argued. "It was magic! It felt like the remnants of a spell... a powerful spell. And no, you can't go back to bed," she added, noting the dragon's attempt to climb back under his blankets.

"Oh give it a rest Twilight," the dragon moaned. "You probably just drank too much coffee. Or maybe Luna did something fancy tonight. I'm sure it's nothing to get worried about... or worth interrupting my sleep over."

"Raising the moon and decorating the night is Luna's specialty, an innate ability present only in the body of an alicorn. It wouldn't release magic like that, certainly not enough to be felt all the way over here in Ponyville." Twilight, paused, deep in thought. "In fact, it almost felt like it came from across the southern border."

The southern border of Equestria lay on the face of a large cliff. The lands beyond were unclaimed territory, but nopony had ever showed any interest in expansion. Nothing but wasteland rested beyond that line, the endless sands inhabited only by fierce monsters and the toughest of plants… certainly nothing capable of producing such a tremendous display of magical power. Unless... No, they couldn't. Even they wouldn't make their home in such a barren place... would they?

"What do you think, Spike?" Twilight asked. "Spike?"

The mare looked down and sighed. The purple and green dragon hatchling was already fast asleep on the floor. She decided to let him sleep. The unexplained burst of magic was hardly a pressing issue, and certainly didn't need to be solved tonight.

_I could probably use some sleep as well, _Twilight thought to herself. Suddenly, a low rumble echoed throughout the room.

_...And maybe a little snack as well, _she thought with a faint blush.

/\\/\

\/\\/

She felt their pain. She suffered the effects of the malnourishment that afflicted each and every one of her subjects. A distant throbbing, growing stronger with each passing moment. It was both a curse and a blessing, one that stemmed from her position amongst her people. When they thrived, she had the power of a goddess, but when they grew weak... It would not be long before she was unfit for even the simplest of her duties. Her nation was falling apart at the seams and soon she would be unable to halt the descent.

She was no fool. She was the catalyst of her people's situation, the harbinger of their plight. She had set forth with the noblest of intentions of course, but that hardly mattered when your people lived in agony all about you. It was her desperate plot that prompted this agony, her inability to let go of the past that doomed a once prosperous civilization. Now, it was her responsibility to fix things once more.

She stood up to inspect her handiwork, admiring the delicately carved rune surrounding her. At a glance, it would appear to be a simple invocation rune, the catalyst for a basic summoning spell. Upon closer inspection however, previously hidden details would be revealed, unveiling the blueprints for one of the most complicated summoning rituals to grace the modern era of spellcasting. This glyph, handcrafted over a period of weeks would break all the barriers of reality to retrieve exactly what was needed.

She was no fool. She knew now what was necessary, but she also knew that neither she nor her people could take the steps required for success. Her people were weak from hunger; unfit to carry out the mission that would save them.

_And it's doubtful I could even make it to the border without being attacked._

Dangerous as it might be, this was the only way to save her people, the only way to atone for her mistakes.

With her twisted horning flaring brightly, Chrysalis stepped into the circle.

… And somewhere far away, an oddly iridescent moon flashed green.

/\\/\

\/\\/

_So this is my first time writing for the MLP fandom. I apologize to anypony who wished to see my other works updated but I've realized over the past few months that the ME3 ending has killed in the most brutal of fashions any inspiration I might have had for Mass Effect. I just can't write for the series without it coming out horrible. I'll try again later... but I don't know._

_Anyway, the first four chapters are already written so I'll be putting those up one of those every day or so. After that they'll just be published as their written. Also, I understand that this could be better, and I fully intend to rewrite a good chunk of this story at a later date, but for now I just want to get all my ideas out on paper (so to speak). _

_Anyway, thank you all for taking the time to read my story. Comments are very much appreciated, but your enjoyment of my work is reward enough. _


	2. Chapter One

_Apologies for the delay in putting this up. Our wifi network was being rather difficult this past week. It's better now though, and I'll put the next chapter up in a couple of days._

* * *

My eyes fluttered open, greeted pleasantly by a soft green glow. For several seconds, I entertained the thought that I might truly have awoken to an afterlife. A rapidly growing ache throughout my entire body quickly dispelled that notion.

"Why am I not dead?" I asked myself with a groan, still shaking off the drowsiness.

"Because I need you alive," a feminine and startlingly familiar voice responded.

I jerked at the unexpected response, searching for the source of the noise. My eyes were now fully open, but the green glow I awoke to stretched no farther than half a meter in any direction. Anything beyond was shrouded in shadow. I wasn't particularly nervous; I had been in the process of suicide after all. I was just rather curious towards the identity of who I supposed was my savior.

"Can you not see, little foal?" the voice inquired.

"Not particularly well," I replied. _Wait, was I just called a foal? _"Human eyes don't lend themselves to night vision particularly well."

"Human?" the voice laughed. "Is that what you call yourself?"

"Isn't that we all call ourselves?" I inquired. A feeling of dread was starting to settle over my stomach... or at least what I thought was my stomach. Everything felt different, and I couldn't get the words 'Little Foal' out of my head.

She laughed again, and I felt a chill roll up my spine. "There might have been a time, little foal, when that was true... but no longer." With a sudden flash of green fire, an old mirror materialized before me. "Examine your frame, little foal, and tell me what you see."

The reflective panel of the old mirror was in terrible condition, cracked and covered in a thin layer of dust and much. Nonetheless, it did the job. Because, no matter how bad the quality of the reflection, it was painfully obvious that that the black four legged being staring back at me was anything but human. In fact, I knew exactly what it was, and it was something that should've remained perfectly non-existent. I, once a suicidal human, was now a changeling. By this stage, normal person would likely have begun panicking, or entered a state of denial that would take many hours of therapy to be coaxed out of. But depression, horrible as it might be, does wonders towards allowing you to accept change... Especially dramatic, reality-shifting, 'tossed through the different planes of reality into the wondrous land of Equestria' changes such as this one. To be honest, I was starting to become a little giddy.

I took the time to examine my new body, make sure everything was as I remembered it. At first, everything seemed accurate, but upon closer inspection, I started noticing certain... discrepancies. My black exoskeleton, which should've been pockmarked with strange holes, was clear of blemishes, and possessed a polished sheen that I did not remember changelings possessing. My wings, though they retained their insectoid appearance, were coloured a luminescent silver and also lacked the normally present holes. My horn looked like a slightly curving blade, a bit like a scimitar actually. Maybe I could cut things with it. I also possessed a pine-green mane-type-thingie and tail that were once again immaculate, and green eyes that actually looked like eyes. To be honest, my appearance was like that of a smaller, more refined, male version of the Changeling Queen herself.

_Chrysalis... _The realization of just who was speaking with me hit me like... well nothing. It just sort of occurred to me through the rapidly fading emotional high I was experiencing. Suddenly, my whole situation seemed much less appealing. Chrysalis was supposed to be evil, and if she was talking to me, then she probably wanted me to do something horrible, like punch Fluttershy. If I refused to follow her demands she'd probably send me back to my fucked up life on Earth, and then I'd probably have to find a cliff to jump off near... well, where ever I was now. It made sense that even in a relatively peaceful utopia such as this, I'd still be getting screwed over. After all, I already blew my first life. Why break a friggin streak? The sound of approaching hoofsteps managed to snap me out my sudden emotional downturn, and I looked up into the eyes of the Changeling Queen herself.

Her appearance shocked me. In the show, while her appearance might have been strange, she had at still possessed an aura of grace and power gave her the same regal air that any other form of royalty possessed. Now though, she just looked... tired. Her body was in even worse shape than it had been in the cartoon, hooves pockmarked with even more holes, and wings almost dissolved. _There has to be a reason for that, _I thought, curiosity once again combating depression. _How can I look so polished, and yet the queen herself so rundown?_

My musing was cut short however, as Chrysalis began to speak. "You're not scared," the changeling stated simply.

"Why would I be?" I asked in reply. A thousand possible reasons were already running through my head, I wasn't an idiot after all. But I wanted to hear what she thought. Would probably give me an idea on just where I could expect this conversation to go.

"I yanked you from your home, from your world. Away from your friends and family. You should be terrified."

I pondered her answer for about three seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter.

Something you should know about me is that while I laugh at funny things, like any other human being, or pony as it might soon be, I laugh harder at people's suffering. More specifically, my own suffering. Only my own suffering, really. It's a coping mechanism, one that allows me to off depression as a source of amusement. It doesn't work, as my prior attempts at suicide may have suggested, but it's a trait that's stuck nonetheless. Of course, the queen of the changelings did not know that, making this whole situation more than a little awkward.

Her horn flared a dangerous green, and she smashed her front two hooves onto the ground with a thunderous roar. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't more than a little intimidated by the sight. When she spoke, her voice was dangerously low. "Pray tell what it is that amuses you, human. I don't wish to regret summoning you here."

I was silent for a few moments, carefully planning my next few words. This was obviously unstable territory, and something told me that angering Chrysalis would end any thoughts of a better future I had just created. "My apologies your highness. It was the fault of my twisted sense of humour, and entirely unrelated to yourself." _God, I really hope I'm not overdoing it. _"It's just, when you... summoned me here, I was sort of in the process of killing myself. Home, friends, family... I haven't had any of that for that past three years." _Yeah, totally overdid it. Goodbye ponyland, it's been fun. Time to die again. _I closed my eyes.

…

…

…

After several seconds of not being dead, I opened my eyes back up, expecting to see a fierce scowl and approaching lightning bolt. Instead what I got was the faintest expression of... sadness? What?

"I can empathize with your situation," Chrysalis stated softly. I didn't even have a chance to formulate a response before I was wrapped in a sudden, and completely unexpected hug.


	3. Revision Is Up

So... I started rewriting this a while ago, and I have a few chapters already written. I can post the later chapters for this version if you want, but it's really not worth it. They'll have little bearing on the direction of the revision, and I don't much like them anyway. If you're interested in reading the better version of this story, just click the link for the new story, now titled "Headlong Flight" right here: s/8554459/1/Headlong-Flight


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